My Own Little Addition
by E.Mahiru
Summary: Hey everyone! This is my own little spinoff of THE BOOK, written by silkendreammaid. It's a hilarious story everyone should read and this is my own little addition to it. Rated T, you'll have to read The Book to fully understand it. Thank you silkenchan!


**Heyy!! This ficlet is sort of a spin-off type thing of silkendreammaid's ****The Book****, which is uber-hilarious and should be read by all. You'll have to get up to chapter 6 to see how this relates to it, but it is well worth the read, I PROMISE.**

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Colonel Mustang was irked. Al could tell all the way from the other side of the cafeteria. He himself was also slightly irked, so he decided to consolidate the irk to one table.

Roy began to fidget obnoxiously when Al sat down, going so far as to cough into his soda.

"So, what's bothering you, Colonel?" Al asked politely. Roy mumbled something incomprehensible and glanced to his left. Al looked over that way, but didn't see anything unusual. Just a bunch of soldiers talking and eating.

"What?" he asked. Roy stared at him like he had a third eye. Alphonse frowned. "Do I have food on my face?"

Roy shook his head mutely. Al became annoyed. He opened his mouth to inform Mustang that he was going to leave if the man was going to be so contrary.

"_Ache pond_," Roy said very quickly and quietly.

"Hm? What does-"

"Fake blond!!" Roy hissed, so urgently and intensely that Al was alarmed.

"Colonel, please explain-" Al began very slowly.

"All of you! All of you fake blonds- wearing wigs and dying your- _that _guy didn't even use real dye! He obviously dyed his hair _yellow_ with Kool-Aid."

Al suddenly blushed angrily.

"Why are you torturing me? Why, why, why?" Roy banged his head against the table.

"Wait..." Al's face calmed, then became suspicious. "Is it really true-..."

_'Don't let Mustang catch you with _that_ book,'_ Al suddenly recalled Breda saying to him.

Roy stopped banging his head on the table and stood suddenly. He climbed up on the table and shouted at the table next to theirs, the one he'd been looking at earlier. Now Al realized it was full of blond soldiers. Some of which were obviously not natural blonds.

"WHO PUT YOU UP TO- Hughes? YOU TOO? WHY? WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS?"

"I did." Ed's voice was calm as he stepped back from in between Maes and Falman. Al gasped. Ed's hair was a brilliant chocolate with a few glinting red highlights. Roy's jaw dropped and he stumbled sideways, almost falling off the table.

"Ed," he said, forgetting about everyone else in the room, including all the blonds who were staring at him, "How could you do this to me? I thought you were coming over tonight..."

"I still am." Ed smiled calmly. Cruelly.

"No! I mean-. You can't!"

Al gaped and, forgetting Breda's warning, yelled, "It's true! The Book was telling the truth! You won't sleep with anyone who's not naturally blond _and_ you can tell when someone's _not_ a natural blond!"

"What... Book?" Roy turned slowly. Al blinked. And blinked again. Then, as Roy jumped off the table tugging on his gloves, Al fled the cafeteria, his shoes leaving marks on the floor when he hit sixty miles an hour in the hallway.

* * *

Ed knocked on Breda's door, scraping off his boots on the doorstep, and the door cracked open.

"State your name and business." A single eye could be seen between the door and its frame.

Ed laughed, "It's OK, Breda. It's me, Ed. Al's here, I take it?"

"Why else would I interrogate visitors at my door?" Breda said, opening up the door and welcoming Ed in.

"Thanks for hiding him."

"No problem. Last time I accidentally mentioned The Book, Al transmuted me a fake passport so I could leave the country without the colonel knowing. This is nothing."

Ed went to the guest room where Al was waiting anxiously for him.

"How old would our mother be right now?" he asked suspiciously.

"Al!! Thirty-eight, it's me, don't worry. But I have a question to ask you."

Al breathed a visible sigh of relief.

"Why did you dye your hair blond? You were the only person I didn't ask to help. Hell, Armstrong's wearing a wig and Fuery used Kool-Aid. Did you see, Roy didn't even recognize him!!"

" Yeah, I didn't either. Weird..." Al said, then at Ed's prompting look, began, "Well... I know it's no one's fault, mine or yours, that the Gate messed up and gave my body back with black hair, but everyone seems to think I just dyed it black because I have phsycological problems or I'm at a 'rebellious' stage. So I dyed it back to my _original_ original color."

"Hey, I understand completely, Al. I see no reason to hide this from you anymore..." he glanced at Al conspiratorially, "But the Gate did the same thing to me! This is my natural color. Or, well, almost. I was so freaked out I convinced Pinako to sneak me hair dye until we left for the military. But then I met Colonel Mustang. He got on my case right off the bat, so I got smart." Ed winked at Al.

"I've been using alchemy ever since. It works so well he actually thinks he was wrong the first time!" Ed laughed. Al was stunned and neither boy payed any attention to the sound of Breda interrogating another visitor on his doorstep.

"So... You just turned it back to play a joke on him?" Al said slowly.

"Yep! Added the highlights, too. Like 'em?"

"EDWARD ELRIC I AM NEVER SLEEPING WITH YOU AGAIN!" Roy shoved through the door, barging in on the brothers. He had tears in his eyes. How could he have been so deceived by his young lover? For so long!

He sniffed and ran back out of the house.

"Well, we'll just see about that..." Ed smiled calmly again. He turned his gaze on Al.

"So, yeah. Just use alchemy anytime you want a little action. Speaking of which," Ed clapped his hands and put them on top of his head, golden color replacing the chocolate in his hair. He wandered out of the room and out of the house after Roy, leaving Al Positively Flabbergasted.

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**Thank you, ****silkendreammaid for letting me use your story!!**

**Armstrong... was wearing a long wig. Of ringlets. Yes...**


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